Had To Be You Read online

  As she stood in the driveway watching the car’s taillights disappear into the summer night, this time opening the door all on her own, she knew it would probably be the last time she ever went on a date with Jake Hartwell.

  Glancing up to the window, she could see the soft glow from her mother’s bedside lamp. It was just after ten. She still had some time.

  She slipped off her flats to head through the backyard, the blades of grass slick and cool under her bare toes. Ducking under the low overhang of the lilac bush, she quickly cut across the two yards, buoyed by the soft rush of the distant sea breeze. When she emerged from the last thicket of hedges, she crouched down to run her fingers over the ground until she found the right sized pebble.

  Taking aim from the darkened yard, she grazed it off a pane of glass in the half open upstairs window with a sharp ping. Matt appeared there almost immediately, ducking low.

  “One minute, okay?” he called down in hushed tones.

  She nodded. When the porch door opened a moment later, he strolled out wearing a cotton ribbed tank and gym shorts slung low on his waist. He took a seat on the top step.

  “Hey.”

  “Hi,” she greeted him quietly, and hesitated briefly before moving to sit on the step just below him.

  “Where were you tonight?” he asked.

  “I went to the movies.”

  “With who?”

  She tilted her head to give him a look that indicated he knew exactly.

  “Oh, right.” Matt rested his elbows on his knees and glanced down. “Tonight was the big date.”

  Rory allowed her eyes to linger a moment. His thick, dark lashes rested briefly against his cheek. It was a teasing point when they were younger, some guys giving him a hard time about this so-called girlish feature, but Rory was drawn to the way they shadowed and deepened the intense blue of his eyes. Her gaze drifted, following the broad curves of his muscled shoulder and the glimpse of tanned chest. She tightened her fingers into a small fist, suddenly struck with an unexpected urge to touch some of that smooth, soft skin.

  “How did that go?”

  “We just went to the movies. That was it.”

  “Did you like it?” Matt asked, his voice lowering with something undefined. “The movie?”

  “It was all right,” she replied.

  “You look pretty,” he said.

  The comment was so unexpected, unprompted, and so unabashedly sincere, it caused something inside her chest to do a little flip, leaving her momentarily short of breath. Self-consciously, she reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear and realized her hand felt shaky, too.

  She immediately tried to deflect the compliment. “What, um…what did you do tonight?”

  “What’s the matter?” His smile curved, and it moved through her in a warm rush. “I’m not allowed to tell you that?”

  “Whatever, okay?” she said, though now she was smiling too. “I asked what you did tonight.”

  “You’re looking at it,” he said. “My dad wouldn’t let me leave the house. He had me cleaning out the shed all the day. It’s supposed to be a scorcher tomorrow, though. We might get a crew together to head out to the island, if you’re up for it. That is, if you’re still allowed to hang out with the likes of me, now that you’re dating some senior guy.”

  “If I’m allowed?” Rory regarded him with a dubious grin. “Matt, if there was actually an official ruling to be made on that—you don’t think I actually want to spend time with you, do you?”

  He ducked his head with a soft laugh, picking a bud off the flowering shrub by the steps. “Hey, right back at ya.”

  “Besides, I’m not even dating him.”

  Matt didn’t say anything, didn’t meet her eyes, as he handed her the flower.

  Rory twirled it in her fingers. They were both quiet another moment before she asked, “So, what’s going on with you and your dad?”

  “Nothing.” He shook his head, dismissing it with a weary sigh. “Same as always. Apparently he just didn’t like my attitude when I woke up this morning.”

  “You know, have you ever considered that sometimes you might be a spoke in the wheel of this cycle?”

  “I’m sorry.” He frowned. “My mind is spinning from your circular logic.”

  “Anybody in town walks into your dad’s store? They know they’re probably going to hear about two things: what kind of season the Red Sox are having, and how his son Matt, the baseball star, is doing. How he led his summer league team to two consecutive regional championships, made the varsity high school team as a freshman, on and on. You know how proud your dad gets when he’s talking to someone about you, how he likes to brag, just like he did when it came to Danny being the youngest officer out of the academy.” Her small smile faded. “Just not so much when it comes to Kevin, unfortunately.”

  Matt only gazed out into the dark distance.

  “I’ve watched you looking out for him since the day he started kindergarten,” she continued gently. “You would do anything for him. Maybe even try to play to your father’s lowest expectations, get into these arguments with him, and create this kind of antagonistic relationship as a distraction, to maybe even things out a little around here.”

  He cleared his throat, glancing at her as he rested his chin on his arm, but didn’t really meet her eyes.

  “You really think that?”

  “It kind of sounds like something you would do for someone.” She shifted on the steps and then stood to stretch with some reluctance. “It’s getting to be that time. I should probably head home.”

  Matt pushed off to stand as well. “I’ll walk you.”

  They took the path rather than the street. At the edge of her yard, he lifted his hand to ease the low branches aside and Rory ducked under his arm before straightening to face him. The ocean breeze caressed her skin, stirring something deep inside as her gaze drifted over his face.

  She knew him by heart.

  “Matt?”

  “Yeah?”

  “What you asked me the other day? I guess I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to kiss me—until he did.”

  He nodded his head in slight acknowledgement, glancing down.

  “And what about now?”

  Their voices were so soft and low in the dark, eyes shadowed in moonlight.

  “Now? I’d rather wait until I know.”

  She glanced back at him when she reached the screen door.

  “See you tomorrow?”

  “Not if I see you first.”

  Rory shook her head in playful reproach, but the smile remained on her face long after she headed in to bed, lingering even as she drifted into dreams.

  TWENTY

  “Have you tried calling her again?” Kevin asked.

  “Yes!” Matt exclaimed in exasperation, still pacing back and forth across his living room floor. “I’ve been calling her all day. She’s not answering her cell, and I’ve left enough messages on her voicemail to make Glenn Close seem sane. The times I’ve tried her house, they just say she’s not home.”

  “Well, maybe you just need to give her a little time to let it blow over.”

  Matt shot him a dark look. “You really don’t know much about women, do you?” He began to gesture with his hands as if delivering a sermon. “They may let you think things have blown over, but they never really do. Oh, no. They say it’s fine, claim all is forgiven, that they’re over it—but what they really mean is that it’s actually still lurking there right under the surface, festering and boiling, waiting to be summoned from those loathsome depths and used against you when you least expect it, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water!”

  Kevin considered this, nodding his head thoughtfully. “You paint a pretty picture of male-female relationships.”

  “Oh, there’s nothing pretty about it,” Matt muttered.

  “Just to throw something else out there? Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, if she can’t get past a small misunderstan
ding? That it’s good to find these things out now, before—”

  “Before what?” Matt cut in with a dubious frown.

  “Listen, I really like Amanda, you know I do. But I’m just not so sure that—”

  Suddenly, the phone on the kitchen counter rang out, interrupting him again.

  Matt made a mad dash, scrambling to answer, practically diving onto it as he sent it sliding across the countertop to land with a loud clatter onto the floor. Hopping over the counter in one swift movement, he grabbed it up.

  “Hello?” He immediately dropped his head, his voice softening gently, but not without some apprehension. “Hey. I’ve been trying to call you.”

  He wandered away, down the hall as he listened and talked, not so much because he was worried about maintaining his privacy but because he couldn’t seem to stand still. Not even five minutes later, he wandered back into the living room, holding the phone in hand with a mixture of surprise and confusion on his face.

  “I take it that was her?” Kevin asked.

  Matt nodded slowly.

  “What did she have to say?”

  “She says it’s fine, all is forgiven. She’s over it. Wedding is still on,” he mumbled absently. He glanced at his brother again. “What were you starting to say before?”

  Kevin smiled somewhat sadly, and rested a hand on his shoulder.

  “Nothing—it was nothing. I’m just glad it all worked out.”

  ***

  Outside his bedroom window, sunset burned smoky streaks across the summer sky, the light fading in gradual increments to creep slowly from the room. He heard his brother trudging up the stairs and a moment later Kevin walked in.

  He dropped his cell phone onto his dresser before unbuttoning the short-sleeved navy uniform shirt he wore to bag groceries down at the town market.

  “Are you still here?” He narrowed his gaze. “I saw Murph downtown earlier. I thought you guys were going out on his dad’s boat?”

  Matt only shook his head. He was reclined sideways across his comforter, bouncing an old tennis ball against the bedroom wall to catch it in one hand, lost inside the drumming beat of a song on the radio.

  “Rory said she might call.”

  Kevin hesitated. “But wasn’t that, like, this morning? You’ve been sitting here all day? Did you even go to your game?”

  Matt heaved out a dejected sigh, finally sitting upright to rub at his sore eyes. Reaching over, he turned down the volume on the music.

  “I can’t get her on her phone. She doesn’t return messages. She’s never home. Tell me what else to do,” he said miserably.

  “I don’t even really know what’s going on with you guys.”

  Resting elbows on his knees, Matt lowered his gaze to the polished wood floorboard. “Yeah, well, that makes two of us.”

  “I know she hasn’t been around at all. Is this about the fight I overheard last weekend?”

  Matt nodded his head, needing to pinch at the bridge of his nose and close his eyes as he felt the watery sting begin again.

  “Friggin’ Murph…” he muttered and sniffed, fighting to regain some composure. His dignity was pretty much shot by this point. “He picks me up last Saturday night, claiming we’re just going to the arcade on the pier to waste a few hours. Rory was working, I figure why not? Then we get there, and it’s like these two girls are already waiting for us. I didn’t even really hang out with them. I did my own thing. He offers them a ride home, and we stop for like five minutes to grab a couple of milkshakes at that place off the beach road. Yeah, okay, maybe one of them was kind of into me or whatever, but I certainly wasn’t into her. And who pulls in next to us but Bobby and Lindsay. Of course she couldn’t wait to tell everyone—including Rory—all about it.” He dropped his head again, feeling sick. He hadn’t even been able eat, without an appetite for days now. “I should have just left,” he said. “I should have walked home from the pier the second I saw them and got myself out of there, and out of that situation. I don’t know why I didn’t.”

  “But you didn’t really do anything wrong…right?”

  “Doesn’t matter.” He shook his head grimly. “I made her doubt me. If she thinks she can’t trust me, forget it. It’s over. Maybe it’s already over.”

  He couldn’t help but remember the way Rory decided she was done with her dad and how she basically ended all communication with him. It had been nearly a year, and she hadn’t budged. Given the right set of circumstances, her determination could be a formidable thing.

  Just thinking about the possibility of her shutting him out like that made Matt sick all over again.

  “You two over? I seriously doubt that.”

  Any attempt to reply to his brother was lost when words and breath suddenly deserted him. She appeared out of nowhere at the top of the staircase, her hand resting on the wood banister. Their eyes locked through his bedroom doorway in wary acknowledgement.

  Her long, light brown hair was brushed back into a neat ponytail, and he couldn’t help but notice how her fitted powder blue tank hugged her gentle curves and the taut tummy earned from all those years of gymnastics. She was in clean white running sneakers and the rest of her was all long legs, glowing with a summer tan.

  His weary eyes had never seen a more beautiful sight, but still it hurt to look at her.

  “Guess it’s my cue to leave again,” Kevin mumbled under his breath. “I really gotta get my own room.”

  Rory smiled in faint acknowledgement as he passed by her on the staircase, briefly touching his hand to her arm. Then she moved towards the doorway, careful not to step all the way inside.

  “I saw your dad in the driveway,” she explained. “He said you were up here.”

  Her voice was soft, calm and steady, giving nothing away, exhibiting no evidence whatsoever of the same tumultuous storm of tortured emotions he himself had endured over the last several days. Not a good sign.

  Then her voice lowered even more. “I thought maybe we could go for a walk.”

  He blew out a quick, sarcastic snort of breath. “Not if you’re just gonna break up with me.” At this point, he didn’t even care that his eyes were probably red.

  She released a slightly pained sigh. “Matt…”

  “What do you think, Rory?” he burst out in frustration, his feelings getting the better of him. “That I’d wait years to go out with you, months and months to have sex with you, only to immediately turn around and screw it all up? That nothing I ever said to you means anything, and I’d just throw it all away for the first random girl who comes along?”

  “She may not be from town, or go to our school, but she’s not so random. I know who she is—thanks to the wonders of social media,” she drawled sarcastically, folding her arms across her chest. “She has a big crush on you. She’s the same one from that party a few months ago. Don’t pretend you don’t know it.”

  He hunched his shoulders. “What difference does it make?”

  “Apparently she was ‘all over your stick’—if I have the correct verbiage,” she continued somewhat drily. “At least that’s the story going around.”

  Matt bit out each word in slow, steady succession. “I didn’t do anything.”

  She pursed her lips into a small frown. In that moment, he could sense a brief and wavering uncertainty, and jumped at this small opening.

  “Rory, please…you know I didn’t,” he said, standing from the bed.

  He attempted to gently ease her into a tender embrace, guiding her out of the doorway and into his room, hopefully into his aching arms. She only shoved him off and squirmed out of reach. He tried again, moving his large hands down to rest on her small waist, desperate to hold her in some way. She just backed away, backing herself right into a corner.

  “No!” she protested. Pressed flat against the wall, she pushed him off again. Her eyes flashed. “Tell me the truth! Did she offer you anything, Matt? A little lip service, perhaps? Anything you forgot to tell me about?”

&
nbsp; He bowed his head low, placing his palms flat against the bedroom wall on each side of her. Leaning in to rest his weight on his arms, he held her there with his body, as close as humanly possible without actual contact.

  “Yes,” he admitted painfully. “Okay?”

  She stilled, stunned to have him actually confirm it. But he refused to lie to her.

  Then, just as suddenly, she snapped back.

  “I can’t believe you!” she gasped, outraged as she shoved him, this time right in the center of his chest. He stumbled back a step. Her cheeks flamed to red, and she swung at him. Matt winced, ducking slightly and backing up as she hit him twice, then once again, hard. “Did you have a good time? Huh? Tell me!”

  She continued to hit and push him, the force of her fury sending them both tumbling to the bed.

  “Rory—no, listen to me!” Matt finally got hold of her arms, grasping her tight at the wrists as he rolled her, pinning her to his bed as he swung a leg over to straddle her body in case she resorted to kicking. “Listen to me, will you? Nothing happened!”

  She tried to struggle against him but finally collapsed back onto his comforter, scowling up at him.

  “I told her I had a girlfriend!” he explained between labored breaths. “I told her that I wasn’t interested. Nothing happened, okay?”

  Her expression relaxed slightly, eyes searching his face. Matt held her there, breaths mingling as their chests rose and fell together to the tentative beat of their hearts.

  “I’m sorry any of it ever had to happen, but you know I didn’t do anything,” he whispered, shaky with emotion. “I would never do that to you. You know me, and you know I love you, Rory. Even if you wanted nothing to do with me, I still wouldn’t want anyone but you.” He lifted the wreckage from his blue eyes, forcing her to see what was in there, refusing to let her look away. “Tell me you know that.”

  He released his hold on her wrists, and her hands went flat to his chest, almost as if to push him away again. But gradually, tentatively, her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt to hold on instead.